Your palms are sweaty, mom doesn’t really cook Italian and your knees are holding up fine for now but your date is about to get out of the car and it’s been a great night but you don’t know how to end it.
She opens the car door and looks back at you, this is it, you close your eyes and move in for the kiss. You feel her embrace but your lips touch nothing; she has firmly placed you back into the friend zone with a hug so G rated the dog from Blue’s Clues would of had a cheeky giggle.
You drive back home contemplating how the $8.95 Sizzler cheap Tuesday deal probably didn’t put things off to a great start. Then Justin Bieber’s ‘Sorry’ comes on and RKO’s your ass right down into the feels. You message her on fb using all your best fuckboy emoji’s (😂🙊 👊😈💯) and still cop that ‘seen’. You get home and binge swipe through Tinder for the next 2 hours and seriously contemplate upgrading to premium loneliness for that extra $9.99 a month.
This is probably not the worst case scenario for a cisgender guy going on a date with a cisgender girl but it would still be a thoroughly shit experience. However if you are trans, things could of gone a lot worse.
Around June of last year a large number of trans individuals were outraged that their Tinder accounts were being repeatedly reported by other users resulting in a large number being banned.
Yes getting wrongfully banned from a dating app isn’t a huge issue, but this sheds some light on the cisgender persons perception and treatment of transgender individuals in the dating environment, and that really does look like a problem.
The Trans Murder Monitoring (TMM) project is the brainchild of Trans Gender Europe (TGEU) and the academic online magazine Liminalis – A Journal for Sex/Gender Emancipation and Resistance, and aims to accurately log and educate individuals about the disturbing amount of violence trans people are faced with. Primarily this is achieved through the use of an interactive world map.
One map in particular by TMM is peppered with little red dots. Each dot representing a transgender person who has been murdered at anytime from January 1st 2008 to December 31st 2014. There are 1,731 dots on this map, each giving the name, location and details of the victim.
It has been recorded on the TMM site that some of these individuals were murdered by their partners or potential lovers and nearly all of the cases are the result of gender identity bias, which in most countries is not even considered a hate crime.
This is obviously a much more complex issue than can be adequately handled in these 500 words of sass and quite depressing statistics, but if you have gotten this far I hope you have taken something away from it and just don’t be a prick on Tinder or in real life because it so offends you that Greg has boobs or that Jenny doesn’t.
P.S go check out Tyza Stewart’s work on his Tumblr here, it’s crazy good son.
Words by Laurent